


The Hypothetical

by Adeline_Hatter



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Drinking, F/M, Handholding, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Listen I have no idea how to explain this, Pining Caleb Widogast, Sad Wizard Yearning Man, Self-Indulgent, emotional honesty, thought process
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:21:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26266414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adeline_Hatter/pseuds/Adeline_Hatter
Summary: Predictable was easy.Veth was not. She wasn’t ever made to be.
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Nott | Veth Brenatto/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 7
Kudos: 58





	The Hypothetical

**Author's Note:**

> Before anything else
> 
> I must acknowledge what a BLESSING TO THIS EARTH @Drybonesour is on here, as she helped a lot with the editing of this fic, apart from like the last 100 words that I literally just wrote as an ending.
> 
> Anyway have my self indulgent mess of Angst.

Caleb didn’t  _ want  _ anything _.  _ How could he?

If he wanted, it would make the pain in his chest far too real for his liking… It was easier to breathe in sums, in numbers and patterns, a predictable curl of air, like if he wanted to he could trace every shape the breathes made in chilly air.

He liked the predictable, it was a little of why he liked Jester, because despite the chaos that she exhibited, there was always a module of  _ predictability,  _ that settled the shivers in his fingertips and made it easier to watch things happen. 

  
  


_ Predictable _ was easy. 

Veth was not. She wasn’t ever made to be. 

He’d never expected her in the first place after all, in that cell, running from that prison as it slowly burnt to pieces, weeks- Months, spent on the road and in cheap rooms at inns across Wildemount curled together. 

He had memorised her face like that. 

Or what had never been her face in the end, but he remembered it anyway, the eyes that resembled his cat’s when she was focused down to a point, the ears that twitched upwards when she heard something and the smile that she had often tampered down, but he liked to see her happy. 

Caleb remembered every little detail, he tortured himself like that, because Veth was not his person, or well… She was  _ his  _ person, but he was not hers and probably never would be. 

For one, he would die long before she did. For another she was married to a lovely, smart, generous and supportive man whom she had already had a child with. 

Veth removed a possibility without even knowing it had existed in the first place, so he locked that part of his brain up and was ready to leave it entirely to rot, to focus his attention- Affection, elsewhere. 

Then Nott had kissed him, short and lasting barely a second. But it was a kiss all the same and he had reached to hold her cheek and tell her that little sentence… __

_ “This will be our best trick yet.”  _

Because whilst Caleb cursed predictability, his real enemy was  _ time  _ and how it passed, how it twisted and shoved itself at you. And how it… made you fall… and fall… and…

So, maybe sometimes he intentionally forgot that Yeza existed, but it’s hard because he never pretended that Luc didn’t exist in this world because Caleb knew that no one will ever come close to how Veth adored her little boy.

But Yeza on the other hand… She loved her husband, too. Yeza was better than he was after all, better for the world, better for  _ her.  _

There isn’t any pain he will acknowledge when Veth walked out the door with her husband, because it is foolish for it to even exist. 

_ Hypothetically  _ though, it is there and it is real. 

Too real. 

* * *

  
  


Travellercon was a party, you were supposed to drink at parties… But then again, he had never gone to many, most of the time himself, Astrid, and Eodwulf would hold themselves up in a room whilst the other students ran off to socialise and they would just… study.

Rum is good, it tastes like the richest cinnamon melted into the warmest sugar, spun into gold like how Nott’s eyes… 

Caleb took another sip of his drink, letting his eyes rest on the ever growing crowd of people laughing, the colourful clothing and 

All he asks, of whatever God- who is actually a god -who pitied him, is that they leave him sat here, no awkward or hard to answer questions that will remain unanswered purely because he doesn’t want to answer them clearly, because that would require an honesty he doesn’t possess. 

Still, she surprises him all over again whilst he lets himself get lost in gazing at the colours flying of people dancing in the crowd. 

She does it again because Caleb blinked and Veth is suddenly sitting next to him, thigh almost pressed to his own.

It doesn’t make his skin feel warm because he can’t even  _ feel  _ her skin through his trousers.

Veth cradled her own cup, “Beauregard gave me a little, said it was best I taste it.” Is what she said instead of a greeting, open and not quite relaxed but not nervous either. 

“Well, out of any of us, Beauregard is the one who probably knows what the word  _ moderation  _ actually means when it comes to drinking.” Is what he replied and it is so easy to fall back into conversation with Veth, though he knows the rum has helped a bit with that. 

Her fingers tapped out a tune on her cup, her eyes fixing themselves on the dance floor, and he wondered if she was seeking out a look at someone too, “I don’t think any of us know what that means.” 

“True.” Awkward, but he was awkward anyway. “How are you feeling? I saw you speaking to Vilya earlier.” 

Her gaze redirected itself, “I’m okay, just… missing my son.” Her words are spoken with a soft sort of silence that spoke of downplaying something quite a bit, but he doesn’t mention it.

Caleb nodded instead “We are almost done here,” He paused, “you will be back to him soon.” 

It’s not long between times that they’ve spoken, it never is but it feels like  _ forever  _ to him after he had gotten used to talking to her every day. 

“Yes, back soon.” Her words remain a little distant, her eyes returning to the crowd,“This will all go smoothly, won’t it?” She took a sip of her drink.

He resisted the urge to simply nod, instead verbally answering, “Knowing us? Probably not. we’re not really known for our smooth approaches.” 

He watched as people clasped hands to dance, and Caleb turned his gaze away, down at his drink, “Where’s Vilya?”

“Home,” Veth answered, this one with no hesitation, and he knew that she had to be smiling just from the way she said the word, “She’s gone home,” She left it hanging in the air for a moment, before continuing. “She’s seeing her child for the first time in years. I saw her, I think.” 

He lifted his gaze again, “Her… daughter?”

“Yes, long red hair… her cape was made of leaves and she was wearing  _ antlers.”  _

“Weird.” 

“ _ Right?  _ And I thought Caduceus had a weird sense of fashion.” The corners of her mouth twist upward, before they settle back down into a line, he can see the cogs in her head working before she spoke again, “How much longer do you think we’ll be here?”

He pursed his lips together, “A few more days, maybe a week on here to make sure everyone gets back safely. Then we have a voyage to go on, though I have been working on learning something akin to what Essek can do.” 

There is a little delight in his chest when her ears quirked upward, and Veth turned back to face him,, “Teleportation? The one that doesn’t need a circle?” 

“Yes.” Her eyes sparkled a bit, he caught her interest properly now, and he sat up a little straighter, “I could take you wherever you wanted to go.” 

Her hand covered her mouth, eyebrows tilting downward with an expression he wasn’t familiar with, but she fell silent nonetheless, eyes searching him for a moment before flickering out to the crowd and then back to him.

“Anywhere?” Disbelief presented the word.

“Anywhere.” He confirmed, the word holding more meaning then he’d meant it to.

They sat for a moment like that, silent and waiting before she opened her lips, closed them again and then set in a determined line. 

"Hypothetically..." She started, something he couldn’t really name present in her gaze "...what if I loved you?" 

Caleb smiled, he was making sure it didn't betray the look of indifference he was keeping, "I know you love me. I love you too." 

"No." She reached over to tap his shoulder, meeting his eyes "No, what if I was  _ in love  _ with you?”

His lips opened "Hypothetically?" 

"Yes." Veth looked at him, and he could see the tears now, gathering at the corners of her eyes, waiting "If I loved you, what would you do?"

His lips dried, losing his train of thought and just stared at her, forgetting to think for a moment.

Because he doesn’t  _ know  _ and that in itself is a terrifying notion.

“If you loved me?”

“Yes.” Her tone is firmer now, solid and when he looked into her eyes, all he saw were walls of determination that rivaled the way she aimed her crossbow.

If Veth  _ loved  _ him. 

If…. Veth  _ loved  _ him. 

If she was in love with  _ him _ , then he could kiss her and simply forget about Yeza entirely.

Veth couldn’t be in love with  _ him,  _ he wasn’t… Good enough for her. 

Would never be good enough, ever. 

But,  _ if  _ he was…

”Bad idea, we have...” He said, trying not to see the stars in her eyes “Terrible ideas.” 

She laughed despite his change of subject, and it was sweet and a little croaky, but Caleb wanted to hear it on loop. “Isn’t that the entire Mighty Nein brand?” 

“Yes, I suppose it is.” He should stand up now, walk away maybe ask Jester if she wanted to dance and- 

Veth shifted and her thigh pressed against his.“You didn’t answer my question.” 

The sentence was blunt enough that he almost flinched at her tone.

“....You mean a great deal to me.” He began, “I feel immense loyalty-” Her eyes burn into him, searching him and it’s like he’s hit a wall head first and the pain is being delayed by the shock of it all, “-to you and nothing could shake it.” 

She twisted her smile a bit, before turning her gaze away from him, the edges of her face becoming defined in the light, focus dominating her expression now “You can’t say it, can you?”

_ Look at me,  _ is what he thinks but doesn’t say out loud, gods forbid he did… 

“No.” He admitted softly, “I can’t.” 

Veth sat up straighter, placing her hand on his “I love you, Caleb.” He turned his palm over and let her intertwine their fingers in a tight hold.

Such a simple sentence and yet it caused more chaos than Veth would ever know. 

He shut his eyes, squeezed her hand and let himself revel in how right it all felt for a long moment. He pulled his hand away a second later and opened his eyes again, “I…” 

She leant into his side, “I know.” Her tone is kept soft and he is thankful for it “Caleb, I know.” 

Caleb turned his head to look down at her properly, as she slid her arm through his to hold it to her chest. 

“I’m not letting go of you.” She stated after a moment, setting her cup to one side and wrapping her other arm around his as well, holding him firmly in place, “So, don’t think you can get rid of me.” 

He leant down, well,  _ fell  _ really, until his head hit hers softly and he turned his face into her hair “I don’t want to.” He whispered into her hair, letting warmth flood his bones, his face and climb down the back of his neck. 

Veth held his arm tighter, but her body relaxed against his significantly as a breath left her in a soft sigh, “That solves that then.”

“Hypothetically.” He muttered, pulling up from her hair as she tilted her head back to meet his eyes again. 

One hand let go on his arm and cradled the edge of his face, caressing his jawline thoughtfully. 

“Hypothetically.” She echoed, searching his face and… 

He isn’t sure which of them moved first, but the kiss was most likely overdue anyway. 


End file.
